Where Music & Dance Fall Face First Into The Internet

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


An Unfair and One-Sided Review
by Sammy Kablam

Fight: Keep All Your Promises

After my bout with "Crush", I'm here with shakey knees, about to sit thru my second streamline of Song Fight entries. So, without further ado, let's run full speed into what will probably be an unforgiving brick wall.

Wages (added due to request)

This one sounds like a combination of Pink Floyd and the blonde chick from "Werewolf". This probably won't make it onto the Spintown page, but I can't think of anything better to say about it. Pink Floyd is good, right?


Not really my style, but that doesn't much matter. In terms of hard rock, it's a megaton better than most unknown groups. And the addition of the brass was unconventional and refreshing. Definitely made your presentation better.


The lyrics aren't unbearable, but they do need work. Part of what makes songs catchy is when the lyrical rhythm is natural, and you lack that quite often. The techno style isn't too bad, either, but it is a little repetative. You might want to try switching things up here and there.

State Shirt

This is a massive improvement. This is melodramatic movie montage stuff. And that's a very good thing. That is, until your song has those schizophrenic episodes. Other than that, it's an excellent step above your last entry.

Manhattan Glutton

This is the kind of thing that gets stuck in your head for weeks. A regular anthem, in fact. Some of the verses could be re-done for lyrical rhythm, but that refrain is a helluva hook.

Montana Fudge with James Peen

As utterly stupid as this is, I nearly choked to death on my caffeine free Pepsi-Cola when I heard the first refrain. I hate to admit it, but this had me laughing a lot -- once I cleared my trachea of sodapop. And the sax solo just added to the amazing lovesong sincerity. Well played, gentlemen.

Jeff Robertson and the Neo-Candylanders

Simple, but effective. Might consider re-working the guitar solo a little, but the overall is alright.

Cobalt Stomach

Finally, something to bitch about. I like synth sounds. They please me. But there's such a thing as "overkill". The constant saw buzzing is not good, no matter the genre. Oh, and here's something interesting: Why is this the same damn song as Wages? What's the point of having two versions of the same poorly written song?

The Interchangeables

It's always fascinating when someone manages to not be funny for an entire song. I mean, even if the lyrics weren't redundant as all get out and your voice was, I dunno -- pleasant? -- it's hard to write a song about dumping a dead person and make it funny. At least, that's what you've showed us. Or maybe you've just demonstrated that it's easy to make it NOT funny. Not sure which route you took. Either way, this is the sound of a bomb going off.

Architechts of Desire

Not a bad composition. Not too often you get a harpsichord in this particular style. Not really my thing in general, but you did it well enough.

Ross Durand

Wow. This is honestly fantastic.

King Arthur

I was trying to keep an open mind, but "I hope I don't die" is such a silly line, that it really illustrates how this topic doesn't fit at all with the music. That, and...what's the point of the song? It starts out like it's setting up a story, and then it just kinda...isn't.


The beats are alright. Verses aren't too bad. But the hook seems...uninspired.

The Weakest Suit

What in the world? That goofy effect doesn't even sound like part of your song. I actually paused it to see if an ad popped up on my screen. Definitely a bizarre step down from last week.

Ux Mpuzm

Well. You certainly have a unique...um...style. If I don't end there, this won't make it onto the site.

Lucky Spoon

Eeeeesh. Amidst the overload of distorion noise, I do think there's potential here. But damn. Ease up on the volume.

James Owens

A little depressing, but not bad. Still waiting for that big James Owens hit, but I don't think I"ll be waiting too much longer.

Balance Lost

Meh. This feels an awful lot like it's trying to be poetry. I guess it's passable, but it's certainly nothing I'd every play again.

Chthonic Youth

I think this needs to be just a touch faster. And maybe a ease up a bit on the distortion. But overall, not a bad offering.

Fortune's Favorite

The music sounds like something from a Sega racing game. The vocals are too quiet, and I"m not going to bother straining to hear them because I HAVE to stop this music. I'm really hoping I get to finish on a good song eventually.

And with that, we conclude the 2nd unfair review of Song Fight by yours truly. Thankfully, most of the entrants were at least TRYING this time. I just hope the vast of decent music wasn't a fluke.

Keep improving,
S. Kablam

(If you didn't see a review for a few of the bands it's because I edited them out. If I thought the comments were too mean or didn't have anything constructive in it, I took them out. If you participated in this round, and want to see what Sammy thought about you just send me a message on YouTube or Twitter. If you want me to post it here, just leave a comment below.)


  1. Who are you and what have you done with Sammy??
    ;' )

  2. Let the negative reviews be posted! I can take it. :)

  3. Thanks for reviewing the song! I'm getting my fill of production reviews on the Songfight thread, but you're the first person to comment on the emotional effect. -- I sometimes wonder if music with feeling is passé.

  4. Who are you, and what have you done with Sammy Kablam?

  5. I added you to my list of people who wants the negative reviews to be posted Wages. From now on all of your comments will be included good or bad. I went back & added your review to this post as well.

  6. Thanks! Any comparison to Pink Floyd is a good one. :D