An Unfair and One-Sided Review
by Sammy Kablam
Fight: Front And Center
I'm BAAAAAaaaaack! After a lengthy hiatus that began as illness and slowly became "I just don't wanna", your favorite Song Fight Reviewing Cuddlebunny is back on Spintown with another biting, insightful and all-around correct summary of this week's entries. So, let's stop dicking around with the intro, and head into the perfect prompt for my timely return: "Front And Center"!
SomeGuyCalledNoel
So, this is pretty depressing, but it's a good depressing. In fact, there are only two things that I'm going to point out as negatives: number one, the guitar riff, though wonderfully played, is pretty well repetative; Number two, when you drop to your hook/chorus, you appear to be singing uncomfortably low. As if you're on the verge of being out of your range. Those two points aside, this is an excellent tone setter for the picture it describes, and although it's not a happy song, it is successful in its INTENTION is to not be happy, which, in an indirect way, DOES make me happy. Thank you for starting this off in a pleasant way.
Joanthan Mann (TMA member)
I have only heard a fraction of your repertoire, but this strikes me as the best musically sound song I've heard of yours. I still have no idea what exactly you're talking about. I guess the guy is miserable because he has no friends. But I do get tired of having to decode things. Sometimes, it's nice to just have things put on the table, as opposed to hidden in "poetry".
The Weakest Suit
I'm going to ignore the glaring irony of repeating the line "I'm moving on".... Instead, I'll simply say that you remind me, quite sincerely, of Rogers & Clark. Except without the charm. (Google it, kids.) I'm just saying, this sounds like it's supposed to be motivational and uplifting, and everything about it is incredibly not. It's slow, it's unenthusiastic, the lyrics are repetative, and even vocals don't have any umpf. It sounds like you're just going thru the motions, like the kid in math class that's doodling on his worksheet while watching the clock tick closer to the bell. And you know what? So was I.
yelyah
I don't use the word "hokey" very often, but this is a great opportunity. I mean, this song isn't aggressively irritating, or anything like that, it's just...not really...good. It's more, like...vague and cheesey and overly simplistic, while hoping to be deep and meaningful. I get the sentiment, really, but it's just...hokey.
Jeplexe!
I apologize. At 2:04 I had to stop it. I can't understand the vast of what you're saying, and you're saying it all in a very fecking annoying way. The music was annoying enough from the get-go, but your vocals (or whatever) just tipped the scale. It may be unprofessional to post comments on a song I couldn't bring myself to finish, under the argument of "if you didn't finish it, you didn't hear the whole thing", and that's fine -- Spin doesn't pay me for this, so I'm not a professional. And I can't listen to this for free.
Give Our Regards To The Earth's Core
LOL rape. And badly written rape, at that. I mean, it's totally funny, because he's kidnapping this person and forcing her to do things against her will, but it's because he's in love. So it's funny. It doesn't need to have thought or effort put into the lyrics or anything, just the very idea is funny. Trust me. That's how comedy works; as long as I think it MIGHT be funny and effective, it IS funny and effective. Just ask Carlos Mencia.
PTP
What? This makes virtually no sense. It sounds like you tasted a stranger's hair; then it sounds like you and your wife fight against any authority to can find; then the stranger says she's joining the military -- a decision you praise, after talking about fighting against a very vaguely mentioned "powers that be". And the freakin' hook: "to stand front and center is liberty". What the hell does that even mean? Are you TALKING about being in the military? Because, I'll be honest, I never joined, but I don't ever recall the men and women having much say in where they go, what they do, or when they do it. Something about "taking orders", I think. Which doesn't exactly scream "liberty" to me. But then, maybe you aren't talking about being in the military, which means I just have no clue what your line is supposed to suggest. And your choppy, clunky music and singing pattern doesn't make it any easier to take.
Berkley Social Scene
Your music is pretty great this time. I can't really hear most of the lyrics, and I'm having a hard time not zoning out; I've restarted the song five times, and keep catching myself day dreaming about a minute in. That may sound like a dig, but it's more a compliment to the montage tone of your music. Take that how you will, I guess.
Internet Famous
I really think your next album should be titled "Facepalm". I honestly can't tell if you're trying really hard to be weird, or if you're just really bad. I tend to get a vibe indicating you wish you were TMBG, but I hope that's not the case. I hope you're just being ironic.
Rycehat
Speaking of TMBG, interesting voice. Some of your lyrical rhythm needs work, but overall, this isn't bad. If nothing else, it displays a lot of potential. But, since it wasn't a mess and I'm pretty much just here to mock things, that's really all I have to say.
William Parsons Project
I think it would be simply fantastic if the corpse of Frank Zappa got up and trekked to your home so he could knee you in the groin. You know, just to return the favor.
Steve Durand featuring Ross Durand
This is a cute little song and all, but...I fail to see how it really fits the prompt. I mean, the first line uses the word, "center", but, really. Kinda let down, here.
Hostess Mostess
So, the moment I heard the first line, something didn't feel right. Like...I wasn't sick...but I wasn't sure if I was all that well. I actually started to think maybe I was turning into a "Flagpole Sitta" rip-off. Then I realized it was just your song. Boy, was I ever relieved! Thought I was losing it for a minute, there. Beyond that, though, great entry.
Lord of Oats
There's a lot of weirdness going on here. I'm going to say there's a measure of potential, but I'm not going to say this is really great.
Well! There's the Big Return of Negative Reinforcement! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did, and I just can't WAIT for the next round. Keep up the... um... work!
See ya soon,
S. Kablam.