SpinTunes #3 Round 1 Review (Shadows)

Spintro:
For those of you who don't know what a "Shadow Song" is, it's basically when someone turns in a song to SpinTunes...who isn't currently in the competition. Even though their song can't win, the song still gets put on the new album & played at the listening party.

For this first round we only had 2 people shadow intentionally...the others got eliminated by the round 1 deadline, and they turned their songs in late as shadow songs. I'm always happy to get shadows turned in, but I will start with the 2 people who planned to shadow.

Now to play Mr. Knowitall, when I've never even written a song for myself.

Mick Bordet - The Highland Coo Song
Starts off kinda sensual, and it's more than a little creepy. A song about a man pining to slaughter a cow & reap the rewards is more than a little funny. I didn't really care for the flute, I'd rather have gotten another verse there. The ending Moooooooo was funny.

Noah McLaughlin - Thank You, Joss Whedon
Like the song about a book I reviewed yesterday, this is a song that I'm just not going to get. I couldn't pick Joss Whedon out of a line-up, and I had to Wiki him to find out what he's done. I've never watched Buffy, Angel, or Dollhouse. I've only seen bits of Firefly, but I do own Dr. Horrible. Overall...if there's references to his work...I'm not going to get them. I did like the music, it was interesting & upbeat. Lyrically I know he died, came back, and you killed him again, but I can't say how well written it is since I'm ignorant of the topic. Toward the middle of the song it dragged a bit when you repeated "you came back" for awhile. Good shadow from what I can tell, it's a shame you didn't sign-up for the contest on time.

David Ritter - Requiem For Bob
Writing a sad song about a guy losing his wife, being afraid to die himself, then meeting death...is not happy. BUT, the idea of reminding the listener it's supposed to be happy cause of the banjo in the song...IS funny...and kinda meets the challenge. I liked this, but think it needs a lot more work lyrically. For example:

"In the night I went to her grave
I decided to be brave
I headed to the grave
The moon was shining bright

To visit my old lady
in the night"

Some of that needs cut down. The last 2 lines tell you the same thing the first 2 did, and at this point I was hand gesturing to my computer as to tell it to move along already. There were also a few Yoda moments. "footsteps I could hear" It always takes me out of a song when that happens cause nobody talks that way. Overall the music was fine, the concept was GREAT, but the lyrics still need hammered out.

Heather Miller - Throw My Anchor Down
2nd song in a row that I just consider not finished. I really think you found your vocal range with this song. I think the style suits you. BUT, going accapella just made this drag & repeating the chorus to start & finish the song didn't help. Take this and add more too it, cause even though it didn't seem happy, it seemed like it's a good start to a song.

Anna P - Jesus's Best Friend
I felt for the people who missed the deadline, but especially Anna. She was freaking out, and trying her best to beat that mean old deadline back a little, but just came up short. Even Song Fu & SpinTunes vets miss a deadline once in awhile, so I'm glad you entered this as a shadow to get your feet wet. The first verse made me smile, cause a lot of people have that moment of, "Will I make it to heaven?" Your delivery of that was well done. I didn't like the Disney line. If it's in reference to the anti-semitism stuff, why wouldn't you hate being accused of that? If it was entered on time, it would have been DQed because it's 10 seconds short, but it's a solid tune. Well done.

Donutworthy - Signal
One Joe is good enough, get rid of the clone. I think putting Joe & Grahams vocals together was a mistake as well. I like the take on the challenge, and the story is easy enough to follow aside from 1 thing (What signal?). The music was pretty cool, maybe the best of the shadows. In relation to the challenge it felt more hopeful or encouraging than happy. Good song, too bad it missed the deadline by 1 MINUTE!

Green Mama Bathsalts - See You In Hell
Overall, this was my favorite shadow of the round. It's a song about two buddies about to be executed for murder. Their friendship is so strong that a trip to hell isn't all that bad cause they'll still have each other. I can't really fault anything with this. It's only got a simple guitar & vocals, but it works. Might even make it better not having bells & whistles. Real shame this didn't make the deadline, cause I think it would have made it to round 2 easily.

The Vespus - Old Red
I had trouble getting into the story & following along, but everything else was enjoyable. Another entry with only guitar & vocals, but it's light & fun tune that might not have the same appeal with much more. The performance was really good, and the hook was memorable. It's a shame Erik requested this be taken off the album. Not only cause it's a good shadow, but it tells me he might have missed the point of SpinTunes.

Common Lisp - Today Is Not That Day
How is a death march happy? You're telling me death is ok...but I'm not believing it for 1 second. Lyrically it's not really a 'story' song, and that's usually what I like. The biggest issue though is the music & pace. It's not bad, but it in no way makes me feel happy.

SpinTunes #3 Round 1 Review

(To listen to the songs mentioned in this review, just click the picture above.)

Spintro:
Ok...for those that are new to the contest & who have not read my blog in the past there are some things you should know about my reviews.

1. I know nothing of music. So why do I run a music & dance blog...and a songwriting contest? Fucking magnets, how do they work? Both are questions I still don't know the answers to.

2. Proper grammar & correct spelling are things that I haven't found too important since finishing college.

3. I focus on lyrics more so than the music, and I tend to like upbeat & humorous type songs.

4. Overall I'm ranking your songs by how often I think I'm going to listen to them in the future. So performance & production count with me.

5. "Needs banjo" could be placed in every review I've ever written, and I wouldn't have issue with that.

Edric Haleen - I Hope You Die
"I tend to like upbeat & humorous type songs", and did I mention I like musicals? This is full of so much win that I kinda want to hit Edric. I mean I'll never be able to sing along with this in the car without screwing up. The bridge was my favorite part, because I don't know how you sang that.

Jason Morris - Burning For You
I was stoked Jason signed up...and actually turned something in this time. :p In Song Fu nobody brought the rock like he did, and it's good to hear it in SpinTunes now. After the first listen, I was a little confused about what I had heard lyrically. I knew there was a guy longing for this girl, but I was wondering if 'burning' meant pining for...or if he was going to kill himself for her. After listening again not only was he killing himself, but Jason was being very literal about 'burning'. Which I thought was awesome. This is another in which I have nothing bad to say about the song. It's something I can crank up while playing ball...which is good...cause I get strange looks when I crank up Edric Haleen at the basketball court.

Inverse T. Clown - Caroline Is Dead
Probably my favorite vocal performance from the clown. Lyrically it's right up there with Edric for me this round. Enjoyed every line, and it made me feel a little guilty for doing so since Caroline is a member of our little group. Musically it reminds me of something I can't place (not "Caroline"). Specifically where the lines "There won't be a divorce, wasting cash on the courts / And, inevitably, giving half to that whore" are...but I guess I'll have to try figuring it out later.

Alex Carpenter - The Day I Died
I tried to find something bad to say about this, but like Edric (but in a different way obviously) you killed this challenge for me. I think people stayed away from Zombies cause it was too obvious, but if you do it THIS WELL...obvious is fine. As a noob you just made yourself a serious contender in my book.

Jutze - I Love The Dead
I'm a little miffed it took Jutze so long to sign-up for a SpinTunes. Cause the very first song he enters ends up being my favorite Jutze song I've ever heard. The lines "I love the dead - strictly vocationally / I love the dead - I bury them professionally" have been stuck in my head since the LP. WAY more so than any other lines from the contest. The music is cheery & fun, and the idea is solid.

Caleb Hines - Haven't You Ever
Another great take on the challenge, and it's hard for me to believe Caleb struggles with lyrics at times (based on what he's said). I enjoyed all the quirky images he put in my head with this song, and I liked how it came full circle in the last verse. Probably a contender for the cheeriest music of the round.

Ross Durand - No Taxes
Ross has completed as many official SpinTunes entries as anyone so far, and you can't do that without being consistently good. I thought this was well thought out, and everything just seemed to flow nicely together. I had to Google 1 line, "I'm gonna always look on the bright side, just like Brian said". Yeah, I never really got into Monty Python. Even with a bigger pool of competitors in this contest...I kinda expect Ross to be in the finals.

Chris Cogott - Drag Me Down
I really wasn't expecting a song about a mermaid. So props on the creativity. The story was very clear, and the production was tight. Nothing bad to say here...but much like with Ross...I kind of expect you in the final round. No pressure... ;p

Charlie McCarron - Grandma And Grandpa
Boarders on being too atmospheric for me, but this is very pretty. Charlie has been with SpinTunes from the start, and he just gets better & better with each new edition it seems. I was a bit confused at the very end. I was sold on it being a double suicide from the start, but the line "He says, Darling I've paddled too far, there's nothing but fog" suggested to me they didn't mean to go out that far, and they only decided on the suicide after they got out there too far. That's the only thing that bugged me about the entry. Well done.

Wait What - Death: Everyone's Doing it!
The music was simple, but from the start is felt cheery. I liked the concept a lot. Trying to sell death & push it on people like peer pressure just cracked me up. As the guy who runs this contest I have a little more info on songs than most people. I know Glen wanted to touch this up more, and I agree it needs it. The vocals were alright in parts, and then the delivery would seem a little awkward in others. The transition into the rap needed to be smoother as well, but I did enjoy the rap.

"It’s why grandpa’s not here.
Let us do the cheer:
D E A T H spells what?"

That might have got the biggest laugh out of me this round.

Byron Blocker & The Offbeats - She's Dead
Right off the bat I'm not sure what a couple lines even meant (Machine guns in her hair), but the voice & performance still had me early on. After the first verse I was totally into the song, and even though the stories pretty vague, I'm singing along like I've got some evil woman making my life hell. That is of course not the case...I'm on the internet...so I'm still waiting to meet a real life woman in 3D! Welcome To Spintown...er SpinTunes. I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.

"Buckethat" Bobby Matheson - No Worries
I mentioned to Mark that I didn't care for the character in his song. It didn't take me long to feel a connection with the man in this story. I think the last song (from this group) that pulled me into the story this much was Jeff MacDougall's "It All Makes Sense At The End". So it's been awhile...

Brian Daniell - Cubbies Will Win
This could have been up near the top of my rankings with a better recording. I really liked the music, and the lyrics did a great job of keeping a smile on my face while you told the story. I really liked the delivery of the lines, and if you up the production on future entries, I think you could be a BEAST in this competition. I liked the Cubs joke, but as a Reds fan I hope you're waiting a LOOOOOONG time. Extremely good entry for someone just getting their feet wet in SpinTunes.

Godz Poodlz - Wake At The Sunnyside
I was waiting to see if this ended up being a funeral home for pets. Turns out it wasn't, but the Poodlz did what they do best, and that's combine music & sells pitches. This has the potential to be the most entertaining local commercial in history. Rhett & Link eat your hearts out. Very entertaining guys, well done.

Happi - The Next Part Of Life
I'm sooooo glad something else came in other than that guitar. From the very start the anger in the delivery struck me as odd since it's supposed to be a happy song...and your freakin' name is Happi. I suggest watching an old Mentos commercial before recording next time. Focusing more on the lyrics & the overall message I get how it's supposed to be happy. The overall experience of, "did I feel happy"...will probably vary a lot from listener to listener with this one. You weren't afraid to take risks with this entry even going Death Metal for a minute. Honestly I didn't like that...but I liked almost everything else. Nice work.

Steve Durand - Die Happy
This made me feel like I was watching an old musical. I actually pictured Steve in a tux with tails, top hat and carrying a cane struttin' across the screen. The lyrics are easy to follow, and the take on the challenge was creative. The vocals aren't great, but since you had me singing over you after the first play...that's forgivable. Good entry.

Dr. Lindyke - Wake Me When It's Over
I was kinda hoping this would suck so I could use your title as my review, but my plans were foiled. I thought this was a beautiful song, and one of my favorite Dr. Lindyke songs. Just looking at it lyrically this isn't happy...not to me at least. The performance & music get it there, but only in the 2nd half. Dave mentioned this in chat, so it's nothing he doesn't know. I'm glad it was Dave singing, cause I don't think half the people in the contest could have made this 'happy'.

Governing Dynamics - Alive Again
I'm just shocked it was happy since Travis normally sounds as happy as a goth in July. The serial killer love song is probably my favorite take on the challenge this round. There were a couple lines in which I thought the vocals needed touching up, but not many. "That probably came out a little desperate / (I don't mean to smother)" were 2 lines I just thought needed better delivery. I think I would have liked it better without the second vocal track, but it's still a solid entry. With a few tweaks, it could be my new favorite GD track...for now "Broken Boy" remains #1.

Jon Eric - Birthday
During the LP this didn't grab my attention. The soft mix & me being distracted by running the LP caused this to fly under the radar. Listening with the lyrics out in front of me, it's a completely different story. Great story telling that kept me into the song. I think the music needs something else to fill it out, cause I might not stop & listen had I just heard this in passing. But I'm glad I kinda have to stop & listen. Nice work.

Pat And Gweebol - Baby Go To Sleep
When I copy & pasted the lyrics onto BandCamp I noticed this was a Romeo & Juliet song, and I was a little disappointed without even having listened to it. It's not a bad idea, but I hate Romeo & Juliet, so the idea of it put to song didn't go over well. When I sat down to review this I was amazed by the music & performance. I've liked Gweebol's vocals since I first heard her in the last contest, but she just cemented her place as my favorite female vocalist in SpinTunes. Pat held his own, and the 2 sounded really sweet together. Lyrically...not really for me, but the music & performance was enough to get this on my iPod.

Emperor Gum - Frequency
I didn't like the delivery of the word "again" in "She dares to dream again". The song also feels like it ends after the next line. On first listen I thought it did. It's a very peaceful sounding song, but I wouldn't really call it happy sounding. I get why the character is happy though, and I enjoyed your storytelling. The vocals were the best I've heard from you, and I've mentioned it before, you keep improving.

Bryce Jensen - Thank You
I was on the fence about this at the very beginning, but when I got to the first chorus I was sold. It got a laugh, and the whole idea of someone's plans of murder being spoiled over the victim unrepentantly dieing is great. The music feels like it needs something (what I wouldn't know), and it needs another verse. It's a great idea, so I wouldn't think it would be that hard to extend the story a little.

Menage' A Tune - Isn't It Nice
I really didn't care for the line, "They would punch me, they would trip me, stab their pens in my ass". This song is both dark & childlike, and having a curse word inserted simply to make the rhyme took me out of the childlike place for a minute. Overall this is the best thing I've heard from you so far. Until recently my favorite song was the first one you did. I'm glad you FINALLY decided to go out on your own, cause I think it's the only way you'll continue to get better. There may be bumps along the way, but leave the crutches alone from now on...you don't need them. I'm not bashing any of your previous collaborators with that comment. They've done some fine work, but fly away little birdie. PS: This is the first time the vocal performance gets a thumbs up from me.

Young Stroke aka Young Muscle - My Name Is Death
Since you submitted before Happi, you're SpinTunes first rapper, which I think is pretty cool. Your entry had things I liked, but often it didn't seem to flow well. In rap I hear that's not good. Lines like, "I got a job - one hell of a job / my job - is one that makes people sob" just weren't creative enough, and whenever I started getting into the song...another line would pop up that just didn't flow. There were positives. I liked the corny intro. The hook & idea were both fine as well. Solid first time entry, so I look forward to hearing more.

Tally Deushane - My Dead Goldfish
Very cute. It needed some sort of change of pace though, cause as you're listening you keep expecting something different & keep getting more of the same...which in turn makes it feel longer than it really is. I like your voice, and the idea is definitely creative. Makes me look forward to hearing what you come up with in the future rounds. Bonus points for the flush at the end.

The Offhand Band - All Over
It had a fairly clear story, and I don't have a problem with the music. Overall I struggled to get into this, and I'm not sure why. I think it's because I didn't get a feel for the character, or that I didn't care about him. There's a lot of story in a relatively short amount of time, and I think you blew through it before I could jump on board with it. At the end I would have just sang the chorus just once, cause it starts feeling too repetitive.

Matt And Donna - Lady On The Gray
I feel sorry for any judge who didn't read the extra info on the BandCamp page for this song. Cause if I hadn't, I would have been completely lost. Since I did read about the inspiration behind this song I'm not totally in the dark, but I still haven't read the book, so I'm sure a lot of the lyrics don't have the impact on me they could have on others. Musically & vocally it's very impressive, and I'm sure you would be much higher on my list had I read the book.

Glen Raphael - When You're Dead
Lyrically I enjoyed this, but musically this accapella track just never came together for me. This is one I'd like to hear again, but with instruments! As much as I liked the lyrics, I got a little bored listening toward the end.

The Boffo Yux Dudes - Marked For Death
Spoken word pieces don't usually hit my sweet spot. In Nur Ein 6 I think I knocked a lot of songs for having those. This could work with a little more verity, but as is it feels too repetitive. The music could pass as being happy, but the performance & lyrics didn't leave me happy. I actually liked the performance...just didn't seem happy.

Alexa Polasky - You Will Never Die
Ok...you do know there were 40+ songs to review this round right? *grumbles about the length* #Kidding Musically I enjoyed this a lot, and the breaths were pretty cool. The problem I personally had was with the lyrics. I generally like really detailed stories, and this lyrical style doesn't really lend itself to that. I'm not saying it was a bad idea, but it's just not something I'm usually into. Another noob with a solid first time entry.

Gold Lion - In The Afterlife
Lyrically I don't have a problem with what's there, unfortunately there just isn't much there. It has a good start & then I end up in the backyard having a cook out. I really didn't care for that decision. The music is cool, but I'm not so sure of the mix (I know NOTHING about recording). I say this because there are times when I think I hear a fine voice, and other times when it just doesn't come through clearly enough. I think this has a lot of promise, but I don't look at it as being finished...not by a long shot. Nice job for a first timer though.

Ethan Ivey - The Four-Year Itch
This seems odd to me. Lyrically I need more about this girl is so terrible to be married to, cause he seems to really love her. Musically it's ok, just repetitive & needs shakin' up someplace. The performance wasn't bad, but it did feel like you were going through the motions a bit, which is probably because the music is so repetitive. Not a bad entry, but it needs a little work. I would do more to this after the competition for sure.

Spencer Sokol - Keeping Calm
I never had a feel for what was going on lyrically. Not once. The guitar was nice & I enjoyed the 2nd half more than the 1st cause you let loose a little with the vocals. Again with the lyrics...you Denise Hudson'ed me.

Matt Walton - We're All Going To Die
The different sections of the song don't always flow together well, like right before the line "Maybe you'll be hit by a car tomorrow in Islington" it just stops for a half second. Lyrically it didn't really stand out for me. I like humor a lot...none there. If there's no humor, the story needs to pull me in...didn't do it. It really got off to a bad start for me lyrically. The first line "Life is such a difficult thing for me to do" sets up what I figured would be some examples of difficult challenges people face in life. What I got was "Do we go out or do I invite you in? / Would you like wine, or should I offer gin?"

Luke Brekke, Esquire - Cannibal
I needed this performance to be BIG. Musically it wasn't very interesting, and so it needed someone to sell it. Lyrically it didn't stand out for me, but there were a couple things I liked. I liked the idea cannibal idea, and I liked how you started listing what you would do with the different body parts. Didn't make me feel happy in the least though. You should also cut the last chorus, I didn't see the point of repeating it at the end.

Doom SKITTLE - A Better Place
This didn't sound happy at all. The vocals didn't sound inspired, and I didn't find anything clever about the lyrics. You didn't have to be funny to write a good song this round (look at Dr. Lindyke), but for a newbie I think you picked a direction that was way too tough for you at this point. At least borrow a uke...banjo...glockenspiel...something...anything that sounds a little bit happy if you attempt this challenge again.

Hudson And Day - Silly Baby
Ok...this is the 2nd time I've heard you 2 work together & the tech issues don't seem to have improved...at all. I believe Alyssa has a decent voice, but I've not heard much evidence of it. It sounds like she hooked up a tin can & string to an old tape recorder to get her audio. Nothing ever comes together in the song either. At first there seemed to be too much going on, and then at the end it seemed to just drift with no direction. I wish I could give you tech tips, but hell I need them myself.

SHADOW SONGS:
For those of you who don't know what a "Shadow Song" is, it's basically when someone turns in a song to SpinTunes...who isn't currently in the competition. Even though their song can't win, the song still gets put on the new album & played at the listening party.

For this first round we only had 2 people shadow intentionally...the others got eliminated by the round 1 deadline, and they turned their songs in late as shadow songs. I'm always happy to get shadows turned in, but I will start with the 2 people who planned to shadow.

Now to play Mr. Knowitall some more, when I've never even written a song for myself.

Mick Bordet - The Highland Coo Song
Starts off kinda sensual, and it's more than a little creepy. A song about a man pining to slaughter a cow & reap the rewards is more than a little funny. I didn't really care for the flute, I'd rather have gotten another verse there. The ending Moooooooo was funny.

Noah McLaughlin - Thank You, Joss Whedon
Like the song about a book I reviewed yesterday, this is a song that I'm just not going to get. I couldn't pick Joss Whedon out of a line-up, and I had to Wiki him to find out what he's done. I've never watched Buffy, Angel, or Dollhouse. I've only seen bits of Firefly, but I do own Dr. Horrible. Overall...if there's references to his work...I'm not going to get them. I did like the music, it was interesting & upbeat. Lyrically I know he died, came back, and you killed him again, but I can't say how well written it is since I'm ignorant of the topic. Toward the middle of the song it dragged a bit when you repeated "you came back" for awhile. Good shadow from what I can tell, it's a shame you didn't sign-up for the contest on time.

David Ritter - Requiem For Bob
Writing a sad song about a guy losing his wife, being afraid to die himself, then meeting death...is not happy. BUT, the idea of reminding the listener it's supposed to be happy cause of the banjo in the song...IS funny...and kinda meets the challenge. I liked this, but think it needs a lot more work lyrically. For example:

"In the night I went to her grave
I decided to be brave
I headed to the grave
The moon was shining bright

To visit my old lady
in the night"

Some of that needs cut down. The last 2 lines tell you the same thing the first 2 did, and at this point I was hand gesturing to my computer as to tell it to move along already. There were also a few Yoda moments. "footsteps I could hear" It always takes me out of a song when that happens cause nobody talks that way. Overall the music was fine, the concept was GREAT, but the lyrics still need hammered out.

Heather Miller - Throw My Anchor Down
2nd song in a row that I just consider not finished. I really think you found your vocal range with this song. I think the style suits you. BUT, going accapella just made this drag & repeating the chorus to start & finish the song didn't help. Take this and add more too it, cause even though it didn't seem happy, it seemed like it's a good start to a song.

Anna P - Jesus's Best Friend
I felt for the people who missed the deadline, but especially Anna. She was freaking out, and trying her best to beat that mean old deadline back a little, but just came up short. Even Song Fu & SpinTunes vets miss a deadline once in awhile, so I'm glad you entered this as a shadow to get your feet wet. The first verse made me smile, cause a lot of people have that moment of, "Will I make it to heaven?" Your delivery of that was well done. I didn't like the Disney line. If it's in reference to the anti-semitism stuff, why wouldn't you hate being accused of that? If it was entered on time, it would have been DQed because it's 10 seconds short, but it's a solid tune. Well done.

Donutworthy - Signal
One Joe is good enough, get rid of the clone. I think putting Joe & Grahams vocals together was a mistake as well. I like the take on the challenge, and the story is easy enough to follow aside from 1 thing (What signal?). The music was pretty cool, maybe the best of the shadows. In relation to the challenge it felt more hopeful or encouraging than happy. Good song, too bad it missed the deadline by 1 MINUTE!

Green Mama Bathsalts - See You In Hell
Overall, this was my favorite shadow of the round. It's a song about two buddies about to be executed for murder. Their friendship is so strong that a trip to hell isn't all that bad cause they'll still have each other. I can't really fault anything with this. It's only got a simple guitar & vocals, but it works. Might even make it better not having bells & whistles. Real shame this didn't make the deadline, cause I think it would have made it to round 2 easily.

The Vespus - Old Red
I had trouble getting into the story & following along, but everything else was enjoyable. Another entry with only guitar & vocals, but it's light & fun tune that might not have the same appeal with much more. The performance was really good, and the hook was memorable. It's a shame Erik requested this be taken off the album. Not only cause it's a good shadow, but it tells me he might have missed the point of SpinTunes.

Common Lisp - Today Is Not That Day
How is a death march happy? You're telling me death is ok...but I'm not believing it for 1 second. Lyrically it's not really a 'story' song, and that's usually what I like. The biggest issue though is the music & pace. It's not bad, but it in no way makes me feel happy.

NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT:

An Unfair And One-Sided Review
by Sammy Kablam

SpinTunes #3 Round 1

So, SpinTunes 3 is off and running, and even though it's not as miserable and embarrassing as the weekly worthless that is Song Fight, I've taken it upon myself to do my best to say something mean about the entries in my revival of Negative Reinforcement. To be honest, it's going to hard to give most of these entries my special brand of motivation, but I'm going to try anyway, because Spin asked me to. Yeah -- blame him. Anyway, I have 45 songs to try to insult, so here's round 1 of Spintunes 3, with the challenge to write a happy song about death.

First, we're going to do the shadows. Why? Because, the shadows can't win the contest, so they're not the main event. And if you do them last, people will tune out before they get any attention, and that's not going to help you encourage people to contribute shadows. So you highlight them at the beginning, to make them legitimate features, as an incentive for people to WANT to shadow. Common sense.

Mick Bordet - The Highland Coo Song
This was a delightful surprise. The vocals need to be sharpened for the refrains, but I wish this was in on time to be a competitor. I wish there was more variety in the choruses, too, and maybe a third verse. But the concept is unique in the contest. But then, that's why I wish there was more to it. If you decide to improve on it, I'd like to hear the new version.

Noah McLaughlin - Thank You, Joss Whedon
First of all, fuck Joss Whedon. Fuck him right in the brain. As that may illustrate, I know nothing about Buffy or Angel. Because fuck Buffy. And fuck Angel. This likely means that your song is a bunch of references to the tv shows, and I'm not going to get any of them. So, fine, it's a novelty song that I can't get because it's based on crummy source material. The one thing I can tell you is the "you came back" part is seriously bullshit. I mean, that is tedious. Other than that, I'm not going to comment on a fan song about a franchise I know nothing about.

David Ritter - Requiem For Bob
The lyrical rhythm in this is all over the place. I can't understand it. And even the lyrics that fit the rhythm of the melody are REALLY weak. You had a decent idea with the banjo gimmick, but the lyrics are so damn broken, the whole song is ruined. The music is pretty simple, and there's nothing wrong with that in the least. But when your music is simple, ALL the focus is placed on the lyrics. And your lyrics are strewn about the music to the point it resembles a junk yard after a tornado: shit just landed fucking everywhere, and somebody needs to clean up the mess.

Heather Miller - Throw My Anchor
By the third verse, the redundancy of the melody had me wanting to skip the rest of it. I mean..there's really no reason to listen to this. There's no draw. If you think you can carry a song with ONLY a sung melody of lyrics, that's fine, go ahead and try. But the melody can't be one 6-note stretch, repeated over and over for two minutes. There has to be some level of pzazz, or nobody's going to stick around. And then you ended with doubling the refrain. Really? This is remarkably easy to zone out of and ignore. This would not exactly be ideal for a real entry.

Anna P - Jesus's Best Friend
A few of the lines in the chorus feel a little rushed to fit the music. Other than that, it's a nice song. I don't really have anything bad to say, so...next?

Donutworthy - Signal
I'm really not 100% clear on what's going on here, but it SEEMS like the entire planet has been destroyed, save for the small group that escaped in a spacecraft. But I'm not sure what signal died, or why that's good. And maybe it doesn't matter, and I'm missing the point. I really don't know. And although I do like the core music, I'm also not totally hip to the doubling effect of the vocals. It's not bad, I guess, but it's a little distracting, not knowing which one to focus on. Also, you guys have a terrible band name.

Green Mama Bathsalts - See You In Hell
O.k., never mind. Donutworthy is a silly name. THIS is a terrible name. That said...the song's not nearly as bad as your name. Honestly, I'm at a loss. There's really nothing to complain about here, but not anything all that worthy of praise. It's basically lettuce. There's no nutritional value, but it's not going to hurt anything.

******

And now, with the Shadows out of the way, we can officially begin the official entries! So, let's not waste any time and get right into it!

Governing Dynamics - Alive Again
This is definitely the single most upbeat thing I've ever heard from Governing Dynamics. I find it a little ironic that the first song he's written that hasn't depressed me into suicidal contemplation is a song about the joy of killing other people. But it's still a toe-tapper, and if you're not careful, you may actually find yourself singing along after a few listens -- and hopefully drowning him out.

Gold Lion - In The Afterlife
"In The Afterlife" starts off with some impressively groovy riffs. It's apparently supposed to carry the concept that the afterlife is the equivalent of an eternal party, which isn't bad idea, really. But the chorus consists of virtually one line, and where there should be a 2nd verse, we get nothing but a repetition of "sha la la". That's pretty damn lazy, I don't care who you are. And beyond that, when you put it together that the singer is only fifteen, but the song sounds like something being sung by a wasted stripper in the lighthearted talking-to-the-pimp-in-a-titty-bar scene of a buddy cop movie... It just feels... weird.

Dr. Lindyke - Wake Me When It's Over
I want to put it out there that this is not a bad song. BUT. The title is "Wake Me When It's Over", which is a completely brilliant title and should be a brilliant hook. But it's not used as a hook. And not only that, a title like that sounds like the song should be upbeat and saying, "Don't think of this as a funeral, think of it as a going away party! Drink it up and have a good time, and maybe we'll party again in another life!" But it's not like that at all. Sure, it's a reassuring song that he's o.k. and there's life after death, but the hook is "It's Never Over". That works just as well as a title, and really should have BEEN the title. I feel like "Wake Me When It's Over" is brilliant title tacked onto the wrong song.

Alexa Polasky - You Will Never Die
O.k. I don't have anything against the music here, really. It's a little redundant, maybe, but it's not offensive. My problem is the chorus which reads as follows: You will never die / And if you do / It only gets better / In death you'll come alive / You'll see when you're there / It only gets better

Well...yes, everyone dies, so the first line is just silly. But aside from that, it just doesn't work with ANYTHING ELSE in the chorus. You'll never die, but if you do (which immediately negates "you'll never die") it only gets better. Well, how is it reassuring that I'll never die, if dying means I'll only get better? If I'm withering from cancer, and you tell me I'll never die, but that if I did, I'd only be better off...I'd fucking punch you. How dare you tease me about my shitty immortality, when you and the rest of the world are blessed with the sweet release of all-improving death? You selfish fuck! And the second half, "in death you'll come alive, you'll see when you're there"? How bitchy can you get? "Death is so great, you'll understand when you die. Oh, that's right; you will never die. I forgot. MY BAD."

Yeah, maybe I'm being a dick, here, but I'm not the one writing self-negating lyrics. Yes, I realize the song is supposed to be reassuring that there is an afterlife and all that, but that's not the point. The point is MAKE SENSE.

The Offhand Band - All Over
I'm told there is a murmur about this being an enormous Beatles rip off. But I don't know anything about the Beatles, so I don't know anything about that. In fact, fuck the Beatles. What I will say is that the drums are way too quiet. I will also say that the music sounds...incomplete. Like there are supposed to be other tracks or instruments. It's just not all there. Also, there are only two real lines for the chorus: "When it's over, you can finally just be" and "When it's over, you can finally be free". That is retarded. If you're going to rhyme "be" and "free", why do you have them side by side in that second line? Doesn't it make more sense, both in rhyme and functionality, for the second line to just be "When it's over, you are finally free"? The answer is yes. Also, fade-outs are fucking stupid.

Matt Walton - We're All Going To Die
So, here's a song that reminds everyone, nonstop, that you're going to fucking die. HAPPY SONG! Granted, he does have a bridge that suddenly says "Oh, let's enjoy our life now, because you don't know how long you'll be here!" Except...that's about enjoying your life. And the challenge was to write a happy song ABOUT DEATH. And this isn't that. This is an annoyingly bland song on a plain old annoying instrument, that just rubs your face in your mortality, and then tries to switch at the end and tell you to live happily -- like you never fucking thought of that in the first place. So, let's see: bland, annoying, condescending and didn't meet the challenge. Next.

Brian Daniell - Cubbies Will Win
Sometimes, movies will take their name from a single, offhand bit of dialogue in the finished script. Things like that bug the hell out of me, because a single line of dialogue does not carry the weight that titles require. Titles should be ideas that are driven home, not throw away lines. And this song gets its title from one line that does not carry the weight of the overall concept. I like the attempt at the specific sound, and the lyrical pattern is unique in the challenge. Hell, I even think it works in the song's favor that they sound like they recorded live in their living room. But this is another song that had a pretty obvious choice for a title that it skipped over, and it's not even a song that's good enough for an "artsy" title. This is album filler at best.

Byron Blocker & The Offbeats
When I hear this, I think of that shitty Grindhouse movie. The one that wasn't "Deathproof". I'm not sure why, but probably because that movie thought it was clever and good, and it was...void of both of those things. All this song gets across is some chick is dead, and the singer is glad. That's fucking all. The music's not bad, but...I like my songs to have content? And this just... Doesn't.

Edric Haleen - I Hope You Die
O.k., my only legitimate complaint: In the opening 4 lines, he rhymes "by" with "bye" and "by". That's my only problem, and when compared to the entirety of the song, it's petty nitpicking. Edric is one of the reasons I didn't want to do this sort of review with SpinTunes: I can't rip him apart, because his shit is always made with effort and thought and talent and stuff. How am I supposed to work with that?

Charlie McCarron - Grandma And Grandpa
I think this a big ol' metaphor. I say "I think", because I really have no idea. It's slow and ambient, and it's literally about an elderly couple leaving a goodbye note to anyone who might come by to find it, and then go out on their boat...forever, I guess. So, I'm hoping the boat is a metaphor for being dead, because otherwise he missed that part of the challenge. But if it is, then that means Grandma and Grandpa killed themselves, because they left the note about it together. That is incredibly NOT happy, especially since no reason was given for the suicides. That leads me to think they were just miserable with how terribly old they were and decided to off themselves, and maybe the boat is because they drowned together on purpose. So, yeah...old couple is fed up with being old, and willfully drown themselves. ...Happy song?

Spencer Sokol - Keeping Calm
Here's another one that doesn't sound all that happy. In fact, the singer sounds downright defiant. But that's not really fair, because I'm not even sure what the song is actually about. It's very likely that I'm missing the obvious story being told here, but it's currently going right over my head. It's also likely that Spencer is a terrible lyricist -- I don't know! I'm only saying! But that's the problem with this song: I just don't know.

Luke Brekke, Esquire - Cannibal
I am aware that this is another teenager. So I'm going to try to say this as gently as I can, because I don't want to scare anyone away from SpinTunes before I know they're this bad all the time. Unless your name is Edric Haleen, you don't need to focus on all of your rhymes being perfect. When you get lenient on your rhymes, you get more room for creative flow. That means you can tell an interesting story. Also, you may want to take the church organ and burn it. And percussion is always nice. A lot of songwriters use drum loops, and you can even write your own with the right program. Or just...anything! Jesus, this was so void of life. There was no rhythm at all, and I don't just mean percussion. The droning organ was just held chords, there were no other instruments helping it out for timber or pacing, and it was just fucking DULL. I'm sorry, I tried to be nice, but come on. Entertain me, don't fucking bore me. HOW DO YOU MAKE CANNIBALISM BORING?!

"BucketHat" Bobby Matheson - No Worries
Hey, a happy song about death. Neat. I'm not sure the guitar part TOTALLY jives with rest of the mix, but I think it can be easily fixed. I think a few more hours of fine tuning, and BHB will have another Marconi in his back pocket. And if you don't know what that means, you should be ashamed for not knowing your "BucketHat" Bobby.

Alex Carpenter - The Day I Die
If radio stations played fun, good, entertaining music, this would be on every station's playlist. The replay value here is very high, and even though I fucking hate zombies, I can totally get behind this song and give it a thumbs up for quality. But I'm back to praising people instead of insulting them, so let's move onto someone I CAN talk down to...

Inverse T. Clown - Caroline Is Dead
Well, I didn't say anything about rumored connection between the entry from The Offhand band and material from The Beatles, so I won't talk about how embarrassed I hope you are for shamelessly pandering to one of the judges. Instead, I'll focus on the song itself, which doesn't seem to care what ANY of the judges think. In fact, I must admit, it did make me laugh -- not in the way I laugh at something funny, like Edric's song, but still, I laughed. Mostly, I was trying to figure out if you sound more like Jeff Anderson or Barney Rubble. Maybe go back to that phony "generically pleasant pop voice" you used to use. Just a thought.

Jutze - I Love The Dead
Any time Ive reviewed Jutze, I've mentioned how completely unimpressed I am by his work. But there are two things that make this song stand out. First, the third line of the first verse actually got a chuckle out of me. Secondly, at the end of the last verse there are two lines that say "I can give you silence - I can give you thunder / Either way you'll end up six feet under". Now, I'm not going to say I have any idea what that really means. But when I heard that, I instantly had a mental image of Raiden burying a coffin. And the idea of Raiden having a remedial caretaker job at a cemetery, and only Thunder Godding on the weekends, is highly entertaining to me. And then I listened to the song again, this time imagining Raiden singing the song to himself, while toiling in a graveyard, German accent and everything. And that makes this song about 100 times better.

Godz Poodlz - Wake At The Sunnyside
Eeeeeeeh. This is not my favorite offering from The Pood. And it certainly rides the fence on being a song about death. But it's definitely upbeat, and carries that false charm of any salesman, which is the point. Beyond that, there's really not much for me to say, especially here. It's not amazing, but it's far from bad. It's just in that "average song" area. I hope for something a bit bigger in Round 2.

Tally Deushane - My Dead Goldfish
Everything about this is wrong, and I hate you. I mean, I don't know you, as a person, but I just have this impulse, when hearing this, that I want to knock the ukelele out of your hands, smack you in the mouth and then taser you before you can ask who I am. That's what you've done to me. Nothing about this is amusing, or funny, or clever, or charming, or even genuinely entertaining. You're glad an animal died. An animal that depended on you for survival, and never did you any harm. And yes, it's a stupid fucking fish with nearly no brain and likely no sentient thought or emotion. But you took life into your home as if it were a material thing, and then found it too inconvenient, and now you're glad an animal is dead. Comedy relies on absurdity, and this is not absurd. It's just cold.

And besides the shitty concept, your lyrical rhythm is complete crap, and you're using a lone ukelele. It's like you're running an experiment to see how many ways you can irritate me, and I've never even met you. You're like Michael Bay, minus the suave.

Ethan Ivey - The Four-Year Itch
I can totally get behind the originality of the setup and delivery of this, even if it's arguably musically redundant. It could definitely go with more variation, a pick-up in the tempo, and more instruments. But the biggest suggestion I could make, is to really SING it. It sounds like you're trying to not bother someone on the other side of the room. Like they're doing a Sudoku, and you don't want to distract them with your song about possibly serial uxoricide. Fuck their oriental numbers game, sing that shit! Happily!

Matt And Donna - Lady On The Gray
What the... Is this... Is this poetry? REAL poetry?? I'm stunned. I don't usually have to handle real poetry in these reviews. I think... I think I need to go lie down. Thank you.

Ross Durand - No Taxes
I am seriously torn on this song. Ross Durand is one of the few things from Song Fight that doesn't suck for air. And with the Python reference, I wanted to say I was sold on this song. Here's a guy who strikes me as predominantly "country", and I just found it stunning that he was a Python fan. But... Three times in this song... He uses the phrase "my erection". And I'm not sure it works. I mean, I'm sure his erection works -- I mean, I would ASSUME his erection works, I can't say for SURE. And I don't want to know! I'm just not sure that it fits. I mean the line. I'm not sure it fits the tone of the song. It might just be the image I have of Ross and his music, but when he says "my erection", it just kind of sticks out. There is no good way to talk about this.

Menage' A Tune - Isn't It Nice
Musically, this sounds like someone opened a jewelry box. That's not bad, I guess, that's just the first reaction I had. And while it is funny that the chorus ends without a rhyme, and the not-rhyme is an intended punchline, I doubt most people will get that far. In fact, "jewelry box" is wrong. This sounds like a lullaby. And if you zone out the words, it'll definitely put you to sleep.

Glen Raphael - When You're Dead
I'm about to really hit this guy, so let me say right now: I don't hate Glen. I really like some of his stuff -- I wish there was an extended version of his song "Big In Japan", because I think it's that enjoyable. This, however... Man. This is like, in horror movies, when the monster shows up and has three or four different voices when it talks. These aren't harmonies -- It's almost like he recorded every track separately, but wasn't listening to any of them while recording the next. And it's really disappointing, because I'm a big fan of a cappella music, and apparently Glen fucking hates it. I get the feeling, when he was a baby, his parents would dangle the car keys above him, to make them jingle. And baby Glen would reach up and grab them all. Because it certainly seems that ONE KEY IS JUST NOT ENOUGH.

Doom SKITTLE - A Better Place
Holy fuck. This is about as enjoyable as running my own hand thru a manual meat grinder. The guitar is lame and uninspired. The lyrics...a kid dies in his sleep, and an ancestor he doesn't even recognize comes to receive him. His ancestor is also "sorry to say" that the kid died and is now in the afterlife. Why? Why is he sorry? HE then says there's no evil or fear, and it's a better place, so why, why, why is he sorry?? And in the bridge, it says, "You may be sad that you are gone / You weren't even warned before the dawn". O.k. But he's not gone, he's right fucking there! And yes, I know what the author meant, but I also know what he wrote. And fine, I'll let that weirdness slide, but that second part? He wasn't warned before the dawn? So fucking what?? What the hell happened at dawn? Is dawn when he died? Because I thought he died in the night, while sleeping! Which means he WAS told about his death before dawn BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING NIGHT! "A Better Place?" How about A BETTER SONG?!

And you know what? I'm not even talking about the vocals. Because there fucking aren't any.

Wait WHAT - Death: Everyone's Doing It!
This is not funny. This is slow, lazily written, and poorly sung. Basically, this is completely unmotivated and a waste of everyone's time. Seriously, you're singing it like it's a fucking chore. If YOU aren't even interested in the song, why would anyone ELSE give a damn about it? Speed it up, put effort into the lyrics, and cut the cringe-worthy rap. Really...That rap...wow. I can appreciate a change-up in a song for effect, but my god. That helped you out just a little less than cutting off your own tongue. Which I might suggest, actually, as it would prevent similar ventures of painful performance.

Steve Durand - Die Happy
This song really stands out. It's a unique style, and yeah, some people might call the verse music repetitive, but I don't care. It's a vaudevillian ride that knows exactly what it is. It's also the only song that mentions an epitaph, which I find incredible. And he uses it as a truly uplifting hook. In fact, I'd say this song's hook is downright empowering. He doesn't have the super studio sound of guys like Alex Carpenter or Jason Morris, but that's not what this contest is about. I could speed this song up a bit, but it's really fine the way it is. If Steve doesn't get into Round Two, I'll be disappointed.

Jason "Aria" Morris - Burning For You
Another thing I expected a lot of was suicide songs -- especially from Governing Dynamics. But all the songs from the POV of a dying person were people who were just vaguely dying. Jason, however, went bold and in this song, he's killing himself to get the attention of his heart's desire and show her how much she means to him -- his very existence. Some people are suggesting it's not a "happy" song. But you know what? He sounds determined and in love, so what's happier than that? Besides, if you think Zarni De Wet wrote a sequel to "Stacy's Mom", I really don't want to hear to open your stupid fucking mouth about this -- or anything else -- not meeting a challenge requirement.

Caleb Hines - Haven't You Ever
I heard a rumor that Caleb was going for a Weird Al feel with the music here, and if that's true, he hit it outta the park. This is very middle-run Weird Al in style. However, I don't think the choruses have the punch they should, and I think most of the jokes could be better. I don't dislike the song; the concept is particular, and it stands out very well. But I feel like there's a lot of potential in the lyrics that just fell really flat.

Bryce Jensen - Thank You
The lead is perfectly fine. The harmonies are not. It sounds like Bryce dicked around until the last minute and then produced this on the last day, just so I wouldn't run up to his house, beating on his front door and screaming "BALLDROPPER" at the top of my lungs.

Like with Caleb, I think there's high potential for a song from this concept -- more potential, even. But that's because there's less song here. I hope Bryce keeps working on this after SpinTunes is over, and develops it into a bigger, better composition. I also hope he sticks around...to shadow the next 3 rounds.

Pat And Gweebol - Baby Go To Sleep
This is...pretty. I can't really say anything else about it right now.

The Boffo Yux Dudes - Marked For Death
Let's start by pointing out that this song is basically not about anything. It's a guy telling the Grim Reaper to go away. (I think.) We then must take out the lyrics about dying during sex, because they're very specific and the rest of the song is not. But even then, you're left with a VERY strange rant from an English person telling Death to just take a hike. Yes, this takes fortitude, but...why? Really, what the hell is going on? It sort of has a bridge section, which makes it feel like it's building toward something, but then it just repeats a few stanzas it already used, including the one that doesn't belong in the song.

I'll also point out that since the guy is denying that it's his time to die, it's not really happy. He doesn't even die, but since Death appears as a character, and that wasn't listed as against the rules, I'll not only count it, but commend them for creativity. But he doesn't want to go and is trying to avoid it. It's just not a happy song.

Young Stroke aka Young Muscle - My Name Is Death
I'm sure I've made fun of this guy before. Over at that crapfest, Song Fight. But you know what? He got me. I made fun of him in Song Fight, and I shouldn't have. He's clearly fucking with us. He's a musical troll. Nobody would make this kind of thing for real. This has to be a joke. It's just plain too motherfucking void of brain power to be written by someone who expects us to take it seriously. Clever work, Young Muscle Stroke. I see what you did there.

Chris Cogott - Drag Me Down
Chris wins.

Happi - The Next Part Of Life
This is really hard to focus on. You don't stay with your beat. You force lyrics to fit the time, instead of writing lyrics to go WITH the time... It's just clunky and sloppy. The chant sections about atheists and beliefs are brutal. And not in a Nathan Explosion way, in a "man this is hard to listen to" way. The worst part is that this is supposed to be serious and heavy. And it's just...really, really weak.

Emperor Gum - Frequency
First: This is absolutely the best recording I've heard from Emperor Gum, and probably the most intricately orchestrated. But this is patricide...and we're given ZERO information about WHY she's killing her father. Yeah, he sounds a little strict, but we barely have any insight on that. All we know is she's moping about doing what she's told, and then snuffs her old man by asphyxiation. She kind of sounds like a psychopath, and we don't even know if she WANTS to kill him. She may just be a crazy murdering sleeper cell that doesn't have any control over her actions. I dunno, it doesn't seem specifically happy. Maybe she killed someone else, and dad freaked when he found out? And he tried to protect her, and said, "I'm not calling the cops, because I want to protect you, but you have to stay here, don't go kill any more people." And what does she do? She kills him. And now she's out, free to roam the city, and you're probably fucking next. Not so happy NOW, huh?

I'm only saying, I'm on the fence about this one meeting the challenge.

Jon Eric - Birthday
Halfway thru the 2nd verse, I'm no longer sure of the timeline, here. I thought the singer had been taken to heaven, but then he's back in the bar and watches his body die. And I'm sure how to take the final verse at all. I know there's a message there, but I don't get it. Other than that, it's a pretty average song. It's not stellar, but it's nothing I can really bitch about.

Hudson And Day - Silly Baby
I have never been presented as a fan of Denise Hudson's style. I can appreciate that other people appreciate it, but that's about as far as I go. And I can appreciate collaborations and partnerships. But I'm going to be as honest as I can here: this is not a song. There is piano riffing, yes. And there are two people singing things. But none of these three things are connected. I can't hear fucking ANY of the words, because one of these two appears to have recorded her vocals via webcam, and both vocals were just thrown at the song, as if Jackson Pollack were a music producer. A deaf music producer. With no hands.

There's just nothing here. I have no idea what this is. Don't do this again.

******

Well, that's just about as negative as I can get on the first round of SpinTunes 3, and I didn't even complain about how stupid the challenge is to begin with. Great call, judges. But, I'm out for now. See everybody at Round Two!

(Normally people seem to put the disclaimers at the bottom, but this should probably go up top...and in bold. Sammy's reviews do not reflect that of Spintown's, and have no influence over the contest whatsoever. The over the top reviews in Sammy's "NEGATIVE REINFORCEMENT" series aren't meant to be 'constructive', and you should read the sub title. If you think he's picking on you...just read the reviews he wrote for the others...he can be an equal opportunity ass. - Spin)

Noah McLaughlin Reviews SpinTunes 3 Round 1

Spintro:
As most of you know I follow another songwriting contest called Song Fight. It's a lot different than SpinTunes, and there are things I like & dislike about it. Overall it's a great site, and it's got a great community that centers around the Song Fight forums. One of the things I really like about the community is that they review each other. When a new fight is uploaded a review thread is started, and anyone is welcome to post reviews. I know you all like getting feedback, and I'd suggest that if you want more of it, you should give more of it.

Noah McLaughlin (Song Fighter) wrote up some reviews today, and decided to send them to me. Being new to SpinTunes, he was probably a little unsure of what to do with them, so he gave them to me. If anyone wants to review round 1 (or future rounds) you have 2 options.

1. You can post them in the comments of the Round 1 Songs post over on SpinTunes.

2. You can post them on your own website, and send me the link. I will then post a link to the reviews in the Round 1 Songs post.

I'll stop the rambling now...onto Noah's reviews of SpinTunes 3 Round 1. Remember, these are Noah's opinions, and do not reflect the views of Spintown.

Noah's Review:
Objectivity is a myth in criticism of any kind - music, movies, politics or which value meal you’re going to buy. I don’t pretend to hold songs to any golden standard or single ideal. The following are more lists of what strikes me as I listen, good (+++), bad (---) and otherwise (///). My personal reactions are the point of departure for these reviews and I’m happy to develop my ideas via email if you have questions: njm148 ‘round yahoo way.

I’ve treated normal and shadow songs alike. Reviews are arranged in alphabetical order for ease of finding your individual entry. (Bands by first name, individuals by last).

Just an open question: why are so many men killing off women (or wishing their women were dead)? Seriously:

Bryan Blocker & the Offbeats
Inverse T. Clown
Governing Dynamics
Eric Haldeen
Caleb Hines
Ethan Ivey
Bryce Jensen (this is a toss up, since the victim’s gender is unspecified)

6 1/2 songs out of 37 is a not-insignificant number.

Bryan Blocker & The Offbeats
+++ 100% channelling Leonard Cohen and Nick Cave is a fast way to win with me +++
+++ great way to make such a very dark take musically “happy” +++
/// the feminist in me does have some reservations about the lyric - what DID she do to make her hate her so? ///

The Boffo Yux Dudes
--- talking vox and fake snarkiness ---
+++ guitar tone +++
--- gets samey ---

Mike Bordet
+++ LOL chorus +++
--- ew chorus ending; i have to go wash out my brain now ---
/// verse vox are a little hot; pull back the gain ///

Luke Brekke, Esquire
--- bad mic = muddy vox prone to popped plosives ---
--- boring synth sounds ---
--- obvious glossing of lyric meaning isn’t witty ---

Alex Carpenter
+++ RAWK !!!! +++
+++ unsettling story +++
/// the only thing this doesn’t have going for it is that it isn’t happy ///
+++ nice step-up for the chorus +++
--- last verse loses the prosody ---

Chris Cogott
+++ rock +++
+++ nice change of aural pace / tone from the intro to the verse +++
+++ channels the Beach Boys for the chorus +++
+++ nice: mermaids without the usual pirate references +++

Common Lips
+++ nice military tone with the music +++
--- off-key, uncertain vox kill the complicated harmonies you’re looking for ---

Brian Daniell
/// live recording is an interesting aesthetic choice ///
/// this would be a really great duet ///
+++ fun and really nice instrumentation and arrangement +++

Donutworthy
+++ intro +++
--- doppler vox FX is distracting ---
--- most tones sound like they’re coming from very different sonic places ---

Tally Deushane
+++ very cute idea and a fantastic punchline +++
/// i’m familiar with lots of your work from FAWM; i’d love to hear more of your stuff more fully fleshed out ///
+++ the enjambement is a nice touch … +++
--- but it’s tiring on the ear ---
/// the prechorus is rhythmically clunky ///

Ross Durand
+++ guitar tone +++
+++ toe tappin’ melody +++
+++ dynamics +++

Steve Durand
+++ great performance and arrangement: this really makes me want to dance +++
/// like Menage a Tune (see below), your melody is predictable ///
+++ break down: “shuffle off this mortal coil” +++

Emperor Gum
+++ at last, a good revenge song and from a female perspective +++
--- “again” ---
--- not really happy ---
/// bridge is ambitious but not very well realized ///

Jon Eric
+++ background vox harmonies +++
+++ only four chords +++
/// uplifting message, but not really “happy” ///
+++ Jon Eric Fake Ending [tm] +++

Gold Lion
+++ great groove +++
+++ lovely rich vox +++
--- slightly plastic tone and sloppy rhythm to the guit ---
/// neat idea but lyrically underdeveloped ///
/// this is one of those kinds of songs that you play int he background at a party: not much depth or meaning, but a good melody and nice sounds ///

Governing Dynamics
+++ guitar tones +++
+++ fantastic production values +++
+++ fun poppy tune +++
/// i would emphasize the difference of the “responding” vox more ///

Godz Poodlz
+++ jingle for a funeral home - awesome concept +++
/// alas, it’s rather long for a one-trick pony ///
--- key-change: predictable and poorly executed ---

Green Mama Bathsalts
/// reverb + EQ makes it all sound plastic ///
+++ catchy little tune +++
--- a few prosody / rhythm issues to resolve in the second verse ---

Edric Haleen
/// full up-front disclaimer: I really don’t like show tunes; they have to be awesome to wow me ///
+++ this is pretty awesome : the verse about gong out is classic +++
--- I wish this instruments weren’t so synthesized ---

Happi
--- guitar tone ---
--- bad genre mash up … ---
+++ gets much better at second verse +++
--- blatant self-reference = fail ---
+++ heavy metal is a better genre segue +++

Caleb Hines
--- another “yay my wife is dead” song ---
+++ backing choir in the chorus +++
--- nasally vox ---

Hudson And Day
+++ piano tone +++
--- this comes across as two disparate performances of the same tune ---
--- shouting on the piano vox ---

Inverse T. Clown
+++ vox harmonies +++
+++ very funny +++
/// i don’t like “i hate women” songs ///

Ethan Ivey
--- thin voice ---
--- thin instrumentation ---
/// mediocre production ///
--- another: “my wife/women is dead, let’s celebrate!” song ---

Bryce Jensen
--- another “my wife is dead song.” sort of ---
+++ wood chipper line +++

Jutze
+++ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! funniest, happiest tune in the round +++
+++ love the nicely panned and EQ’d guits +++
+++ your voice isn’t very strong, but you work it very well in this tune +++

Dr. Lindyke
/// piano-bar music ///
--- not musically happy (read: up-beat) until the very end ---
/// Johnny Cash’s “Meet me in Heaven” has you beat ///
+++ nice production +++

“Buckethat” Bobby Matheson
+++ nice melody +++
+++ good dynamics +++
+++ love the accordion +++
--- the lyric is really dumb ---

Matt And Donna
+++ back vox “aahs” & oohs” +++
+++ melody +++
--- pretty, but not really happy ---
/// very, very pretty, but i have nto idea what this is about ///

Charlie McCarron
+++ love the reverb-lush vibe +++
+++ after a close look at the lyrics, this is a tremendously moving vignette; kinda of courageous, really, in its own way +++

Noah McLaughlin
/// c’est moi ///
--- various percussion issues --- (most of which have since been fixed: http://noahmclaughlin.bandcamp.com/track/sunnydale-wake)
+++ Buffy is always awesome +++
+++ dynamics +++
/// don’t know how well the hand claps work ///

Menage a Tune
+++ the instrumentation and sinister narrative are a nice pairing +++
--- ¾ is a refreshing, but your melody is very predictable ---
/// why the harsh EQ of the vox ? ///

Heather Miller
+++ good vocal performance +++
--- bad hand clapping performance ---
/// this needs a lush, full gospel choir to back it ///

Jason Morris
+++ rock! +++
+++ chorus +++
+++ everything is awesome about this song: production, arrangement, performance, melody, prosody, appropriate approach to title and challenge. this is the definition of “Full of Win” +++

The Offhand Band
--- nasally, thin vox ---
--- nearly out-of-control music that is sloppy rather than vibrant ---
--- wordy ---
--- blatant Beatle’s rip-off rather than insightful homage ---

Pat And Gweebol
+++ lead vox are a little thick; pull back that gain and shave off the reverb +++
+++ duet! +++
+++ really great Romeo and Juliette adaptation +++

Anna P
+++ neat idea +++
--- lyrics lack prosody and a solid rhythm ---
/// why is the guitar hard-panned left? ///

Alexa Polasky
+++ breathy percussion +++
+++ i appreciate the haiku like minimalism of the verse +++
/// i would like the chorus to rock out more ///
--- outstays its welcome a little: 5:00 is long for this limited a sonic palette ---

Glen Raphael
+++ beat box & spoons +++
/// would still like a full band to kick in for the chorus ///
+++ vox harmonies +++
--- ending bits just kind of drags on ---

David Ritter
--- self-reference with the banjo; not an entire fail, but it’s pretty facile ---
+++ this is a great little tune +++
/// i know this melody from somewhere; most of it, anyway : which hymn did you use? ///

Doom SKITTLE
--- muddy guitar tone ---
--- out of kilter playing ---
--- melody that wanders all over the place ---

Spencer Sokol
--- it all sounds of out of tune ---
--- nasally vox ---
//// they get better when you put more “oomph” behind them ///

Matt Walton
+++ ukes are an automatically happy instrument +++
/// their simplicity demands a lot of everything else in the arrangement ///
+++ lyrics: happy melody with dark (but philosophically uplifting) ideas +++
--- the evil laught [tm] at the end is unnecessary, did you think you had to make this nice little song a joke? ---

Wait What
+++ funny title +++
--- self-reference = metafail ---
+++ chorus +++

Young Stroke aka Young Muscle
--- you need to read some Terry Pratchet and take some notes ---
--- rhythm ---

Other Updates I Posted Today:

Everything Is A Remix: Part 3

I love this series by Kirby Ferguson, and if you haven't seen the first 2 episodes you should check them out. (Part 1 & Part 2)

The Song Club

Ben Davila (one of the judges in SpinTunes #3) runs his own songwriting club. I've mentioned The Song Club before, and for the current challenge he's offering cash prizes. For those of you that have finished your SpinTunes 3 Round 1 song already...you might want to look into this.

First prize is $100
Second prize will be $75
Third Prize will be $50
Fourth Place will be $25

To find out all the details, click --> HERE.

YouTube Treasure Hunt #25

I know it's been over a week since I posted on the home page. I kinda felt burned out after being an alternate judge in Nur Ein 6, while at the same time planning SpinTunes #3 (that's my songwriting competition). With Nur Ein over with, and most of SpinTunes planned out, hopefully I'll get back into my groove soon. Pimping the contest, getting special guest judges lined up for each round, and all the other little things just have me less than excited about blogging. Ok...so maybe playing MineCraft on Zack Scott's server is taking up some time as well... :p I should be in a new video today or Saturday.

If you don't know how these hunts work, you can find the RULES <-- here. In short, this is the one time of the month I REALLY go out of my way to find unknown talent on YouTube. I sift through the crap, to bring you folks with potential. Sometimes I end up subscribing the people I find & they get featured on the "Songs Of The Day" page on a regular basis.

Anyways...if you like any of these videos, please visit the individual channels to check out more. I'll probably post some of the ones that just missed the cut on the "Songs Of The Day" page over the next week or so.

Becoming by Kyan Kuatois (786 subs)

kyankuatois & @kyanmusic
Yesteryear by Teresa Zimmermann (2 subs)

tzimmermann1
To Get To You by Jared W. Gallamore (3 subs)

JWGallamore
My Friend by Adam Martin (2,265 subs)

adammartintv & @adammartinmusic
You Make Me Feel Allright by Nicolas Beyer, Ludovic delaere & Frank Franowsky (515 subs)

TherealBrandon
Firefly by Mariah YJ & Jared Anderson (2,778 subs)

MariahYJ & @MariahYJ @JMHAnderson
Goodbye Sunshine by Shilo Andrews (4 subs)

ShiloAndrews1

Nur Ein 6: Round 7 Review

If you want to download any of the songs I'm reviewing in this post, there's a link to the Nur Ein site in my sidebar. Check it out for free music. In this round the title was "Last Call", and the artists had no additional challenges.

If you didn't follow Nur Ein...shame on you. It's been a great contest, and the 2 finalist have really earned the right to compete for the title of Nur Ein champion in this final round. I've been the alternate judge for the entire contest. That means if a regular judge flakes, my scores & reviews are used in the place of the missing judge. So sometimes my scores were used in the contest, and sometimes they weren't. This is the only round I've known in advance that my scores will affect the outcome. So lets get to it...

The Worldly Self Assurance - I can't point to anything about this that I dislike or would change. At the same time I don't feel it's your best song of the contest. I think it's good, the music is fun, but I'm not really caring for the central character in this song. Don't know why.

Paco del Stinko - In this song I did care about the character & the story being told. However the vocals let this song down when it slows down in the middle. It's still a good song, but I'm now left with 2 good songs with a single flaw. Which will I vote for? In the spirit of Nur Ein...I'm not telling. :p

The Song A Day Welcome Song

If you visit this blog, you probably already know about Jonathan Mann writing a song every day. But you can watch him do it LIVE all this month. Here's the first song he did for this month.

Mink Car Cover

So there's this chick named Blue (almost as good as yellow) who put together a really cool They Might Be Giants cover album for charity. The details are mentioned in the video below, and you can Pre-Order The Album on the BandCamp page. Aside from being a fan of most of the artists involved, I've had some interaction with a few of them. For instance I'm the guy the brentalfloss song "Good Example" is about, Jonathan Mann wrote the Spintown Theme Song (Welcome To Spintown) & Mike Lombardo is getting ready to judge the 3rd edition of my songwriting contest SpinTunes #3 (sign-ups are still going on). I'm really excited too see how this cover CD turns out, and you should give it a look.