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Monday, November 26, 2007

What Pissed Me Off Today #3

Nothing ticks me off more then HANDICAP PARKING! When I go to the grocery store it's like they're expecting the entire United States Special Olympics team to show up all at once. I mean how many handicap parking spots do you need at a freaking Kroger? I counted 10 just the other day, and only 1 was being used. Other times you go and you see people getting out of their cars that walk better then you do. For the ones that need scooters I don't even think they should be allowed to park up front. Screw that, they don't even have to walk. They should put special handicap spaces in the back of the lot for them. Heck if they would let me use those scooters in the store I'd ride around on one. But NNNOOO....you have to be a cripple. Sounds like discrimination to me.

If you think about it, being a cripple in public isn't all that bad. People are always nicer to cripples, and you get special privileges. For instance most amusement parks let you cut to the front of the line if you've got a wheelchair or scooter. I made sure I took advantage of that the last time I went to Disneyland. Forget the fast pass crap, that scooter got me on any ride in under 20 minutes whenever I wanted.

Part of the problem is that cripples are organized, and have groups like the “National Association of the Physically Handicapped” and the ACLU to help them gain all these luxuries. Us non cripples need to get organized and start our own advocacy group. We could call it NADS for: the National Association of Disgruntled Striders. We may not be able to do anything about the rights these cripples already won, but maybe we could gain a few ourselves.

Here’s some issues that would b on my personal agenda:
1. I want the right to club someone in the kneecap if I catch them using a handicapped parking space when they are in fact not handicapped.
2. I want for everyone to have access to those cool little scooters in shopping centers.
3. I also want seats with extra leg room in movie theaters.
4. I want all public restroom stalls to be equal to that of a cripples.

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